Entry tags:

blindfolds, bondage, cuffs, experiences, gags, robots, rope bondage, sensation play, sensory deprivation, sexuality

9/13/07 - Bondage Fun With Cat (Part 1)
So much happened these previous two days, I'm honestly not sure I'll be able to remember all the details. Particularly bits when I was in maybe a foggier headspace, heh. And for sure, I might get the order of some parts mixed up. But I'll try my best. ;-)


A friend who goes by the name Cat has been keeping a fun bondage-centric journal at catbondage (which he tells me he was inspired to start after reading my own ^_^). In one entry, he was talking about how he's long had an interest in bondage and a fascination with total power exchange, but questioning if he'd really have the desire to ever do the "master" thing in reality. And then one day he had a realization:

"This spring I was at an introduction to shibari class, and at one point we had tied rope on the front of our partner, and the next step was to tie the rope up their back. In a bit of humor the instructor said, "so if you're a dom top, at this point you tell your submissive to turn around, and if you're a service top, you go around to the other side". And I had a bit of a lightbulb go off, and I thought, "oh, I'm a service top!"

Because I've always been a builder, a doer. I build projects, I write software, I implement. I don't get a thrill myself out of someone being compliant... if I'm going to tie someone up, if they've given me permission to tie them up, I don't care what they do. They can struggle or be resistant or try to escape or beat me off me off or just stand there, it doesn't matter: I am going to tie them up and make them helpless."

A month ago I was reading a story over in consciousobject's journal, and at one point the protagonist asked the inventor, "do you think we could use [your invention] to try out some other fantasies of mine?". I commented that when I read that, I thought, "you know, that's what I want. I want to be an implementor of fantasies"."

I thought that was really cool, commenting how "people like that seem so hard to find, at least on BDSM personals. "Service top," I like that, hehe. I just want to find someone who enjoys tying girls up, who loves that I love them tying me up, without the whole 'serving' thing. ;-P" Cat had been thinking doing a little traveling, and I guess at that moment he decided he should make this one of his stops, lol.

And so this became the final stop on his planned trip (so that there wouldn't be a rush to get off to the next destination). The idea being to meet up and chat a bit, and then if feeling sufficiently comfortable with the other, finding a place to have some bondage fun. The only slight difficulty being that my roommates aren't kinky, and Cat was staying in a hostel, so I'd probably have to find a hotel room or something.

Before arriving in town, he sent an email to give a heads-up. At the bottom of the message, he included this silly extra bit, referencing my "DomBot" entry:

"*beep*

Thank you for shopping Bondorobo! We thought you might like to know that your order of one (1) Bondage-Bot has shipped and is due to arrive at the Barnes and Noble in [city] at 12 noon. Your Bondage-Bot comes equipped with a full range of bondage gear for your enjoyment. However, if you are dissatisfied with your Bondage-Bot for any reason, please return it for a full refund. Here at Bondorobo, we aim to please!"

Just had to post that...it was too silly. ;-)

We initially met up at the cafe of B and N, but there ended up being so many people in the area that day, being so library-quiet, it felt to me like everything we said would be overheard even if we tried to whisper. So I suggested relocating to the food court at the mall, where as expected we were able to talk quite loudly without much worry, drowned out by the sounds around us.

After chatting for awhile and being able to determine that the other isn't a weirdo crazy person or anything (just two weirdo bondage fans?), we retired off to find a location to have some bondage fun. I had never done this hotel-just-for-some-place-private thing before, so it was kind of weird for me. Even moreso, the most affordable place in the area ended up being not a hotel but a motel...I'm actually not sure if I've ever stayed in a motel before, lol. But once we had a room and were settled, I got over the initial awkwardness fairly quickly. And it ended up being a decent enough place (though I hear the shower had some problems).

Then he brought out his bag filled with various possible toys to play with (including lots of rope). I don't have much in the way of bondage toys myself, but did bring along a bag with my catsuit and zentai suits, for him to choose from if he desired ("do you want the bot? the ragdoll?" heh).

I wasn't really entirely sure what to expect from the day. The snippets of experiences I've read on his blog don't really talk much about any sort of sensation play or how clothed the people were that he's been able to practice tying up so far. Knowing he's read enough of my blog to have gotten a fairly clear idea of what sorts of what I do or don't go for, I'd kind of decided to myself (not openly stated, just in my thoughts) that I'd leave it up to him how comfortable he was as far as my level of undress and types of sensation play, if any. For all I knew, we might end up just sitting around chatting while I'm tied up in various ways.

All I can say is, was I in for a surprise!

While I was still mid-sentence in chatting, his first step was to casually start working on giving me cat paws (aka bondage mitts) in a "don't mind me" sort of manner (though, naturally, it quickly got my attention). These improvised mitts are created with black duct tape, with a nylon first put over each hand so the tape isn't directly attaching to the skin.

The first one looked quite like cat paw from the "bottom," with one piece of tape looking like the main "pad," and another piece of tape going around the sides where the "toes" would be. Adorable really. But extra tape had to be added to both hands when he discovered he'd been "too nice," and given my hands a little too much wiggle room. But after a little extra work, they were nicely immobilized, effectively leaving me without use of fingers. ^_^

Next, he stepped behind me and tried out a few ball gags on me that he's just ordered. There were two sizes, a small and a medium. The small ended up allowing for too much speech capability still, heh, which the medium one was more effective at inhibiting. It wasn't until trying it again the next day that we discovered pulling the strap even tighter makes it so much more effective (when it was looser, I eventually discovered I could still use my tongue to push it out a ways to talk some).

Then came the headphones. These are some really snazzy sound-isolating earphones...basically, earplugs with built-in headphones. Cat connected this to a small recorder playing white noise, to drown out any other sounds that might get through. Which initially seemed like a lot, but later we discovered this had more to do with the difficult of trying to stick them in someone else's ears rather than your own -- when I was able to put them in myself, and really shove them in deep, I could barely hear a single thing even before the white noise! In this particular instance however, I could still hear some noise (the highway traffic next to the motel, a noisy cleaning person out in the hall, etc.).

And finally came the blindfold, completing the sensory deprivation. At this point I find myself not really capable of doing much other than just sitting there and waiting for things to happen, heh.

The first thing that happens is my shoes are untied and taken off. Then my top comes off. I find myself being nudged to lay down on my side. And then he starts massaging me. Which was so very nice. I'm so overdue for a real thorough massage...my back and shoulders are so very tense and knotted up. So I was enjoying that...nudging or guiding me into different positions while lightly massaging.

After a little bit of that, he guided me into laying on my back, and then repositioned me on the bed. I think my bra had already come off by this point, but I can't remember exactly when. I was a little disoriented when he repositioned me, and thought I was at an odd diagonal angle on the bed. But it turns out I was pretty much parallel with it, just one of those weird things. So I'm laying there, relaxed, wondering what comes next...and then I felt cuffs being attached to my wrists! ;-)

A piece of rope was strung under the bed, the ends tied to each cuff, and then tightened so that my arms were forced out to the side. I can't remember the order of things real well, but I think there was a little caressing and things at that point, with hands and with a feather.

Then, I felt cuffs being attached to ankles. I think. Or maybe it was just the beginnings of rope tied on. I must've been getting spacey here already, because I can't remember for sure exactly. But I think it was cuffs. And then my jeans were unbottoned, and pulled off me.

As the jeans were being slid off me, I raised my pelvis up a bit to make it easier for my underwear to not be dragged with it. If you've read my other "experiences" entries, you'll notice I'm more than fine being topless, but am more comfortable with the underwear kept on.

But then I there was a pause while my jeans were somewhere between my knees and my ankles, and suddenly I felt my underwear pulled down with them!

This took me by surprise, to say the least. But I wasn't immediately sure what to think. It took me a moment to process, partly from just the surprise, and also maybe because my thinking had slowed a little (which the constant white noise does a great job of contributing to ;-P). But it wasn't a hard-limit, "safeword" moment for me. A safeword moment for me (at least with my currently level of comfortability with sex) would be guy's genitals penetrating any part of me (including oral), or even just rubbing against me, making direct contact with my skin anywhere. I have this "thing" when it comes to genitals. But just being exposed in this manner wasn't necessarily an automatic safeword moment for me. So I took an outlook of "let's see where this goes, I guess."

I did signal my hesitation a little, when they were down at my knees, by trying to use my legs to slow them from being taken off the rest of the way and making a frustrated sound, but off they came. And then rope attached to the ankles, tied to the corners of the bed, so I was stuck spread. I'm not sure I've ever felt *that* exposed. ;-P

But I admit I was a little nervous, suddenly wondering if we hadn't discussed things enough and he just didn't know this was in an uncomfortable "gray area" for me -- sort of a feeling of "what have I gotten myself into?" -- or if he was making a conscious decision to push against my limits a little.

It turned out to be the latter, when we where chatting about it afterwards. I should mention, he seemed kind of shocked afterwards about it himself, discovering he had in him this bit of desire to push limits, which conflicts with the side of him that enjoys the "DomBot" sort of approach. Naturally, I suggested he may want to journal about it, since it seems to help me. ;-) But I bring this up just to point out that, yes, this section of the scene had me a feeling little uncomfortable, and a little nervous, but that it all ended up okay after we talked about it some.

In fact, we joked that this is what happens when a DomBot isn't given any programmed instructions, and reverts to "random," heh. But personally, my preference is for scenes that don't push limits, since I since my brain is able to relax more then, and I tend to have more fun -- there's a scene that happened the next day that I'll get to, that I think I enjoyed more. But I didn't find this to be a negative experience or anything. It was interesting, to say the least. An experience.

So anyways, I'm laying there feeling all exposed and naked. He sits down next to me and begins caressing my body again, this time up and down my legs as well, but largely staying away from my pubic region. I'm feeling more comfortable again. Though, obviously, still very very exposed, heh.

And then suddenly I felt a finger or two enter that area. First sort of circling around, exploring the surface area. I remember thinking "I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with this, but-- oh, that feels kind of nice," lol.

Then he started giving me the clitoral fingering treatment, which was very interesting. Because, y'know, I've so far only been masturbated by myself, and have my own way of doing it, and to have someone else do it...in a slightly different manner, and over which I had no control over...it was an interesting experience.

This was when I started wiggling around squirming a bit, which I understand he found to be particularly enjoyable, lol. Because he was focusing on rubbing just one very small area over and over, at about the same constant speed the whole time, what I was reacting to so much was a sensation that was sort of combination of a pleasurable tingling, and a slightly burning agitation. In fact, it reminded me quite a lot of the first time I had my nipples played with by someone else, in that way. Though fortunately, it did not end up feeling all raw and sore afterwards this time. ;-)

As the sensation built up, I was filled with this conflicted feeling of "this feels interesting" and "too much, too much, stop stop stop," which is what had me squirming so much...trying to get away from all the sensation and not being able to, and having no control over slowing down or giving it a break, etc...which I think may've actually turned me on only more. "Omg, I can't stop it...I'm stuck here!"

And it continued building and building and building, and then...nothing. In place of an orgasm, just an absence of anything. This is something I haven't really talked much about here, but orgasm seems to be really hard to achieve for me. I'm not sure what it is, but even whenever I get myself off, the end climatic orgasm ends up being fairly small to non-existent. I don't know if my internal orgasm processor is broken, or if I'm missing some necessary software or drivers, or what... ;-P

Maybe it's just some mental obstacle to eventually work through. I know the capability is in me. In fact, there have been occasional instances when vividly imagining some fantasy or looking at a particular bondage vid or set of photos and trying to imagine the feeling, that I've felt a brief, short little "jolt" that I think could possibly be a small "spontaneous orgasm." Though I'm not entirely positive. But if that feeling went on for more than just a split second...wow. That would be intense.


I think this particular entry has gotten lengthy enough, so I think I'll stop there for the moment, and continue in the next one. ^_^