Hello, I am known as K-8 (aka "conscious_object"). Here I keep a fetish blog with a (skewed) sense of humor. Contained herein you will find my various random thoughts on my unique fetishes, and interesting finds culled from all over the intarweb, including art by my friends, and sometimes my own art.

Note: You do not need to have a Livejournal account in order to reply to an entry, as I have "anonymous posting" enabled. Just make sure to sign your name at the bottom, or I'll have no idea which comments are yours.

...if there's anyone out there who makes something similar to this?

I dunno about you, but I think this looks kinda hot:





It's similar to a full hood, and yet very different. I guess different gags can be attached on the inside, to go in the mouth.

Many other nice bondage-related pics at this group.

So much happened these previous two days, I'm honestly not sure I'll be able to remember all the details. Particularly bits when I was in maybe a foggier headspace, heh. And for sure, I might get the order of some parts mixed up. But I'll try my best. ;-)


A friend who goes by the name Cat has been keeping a fun bondage-centric journal at catbondage (which he tells me he was inspired to start after reading my own ^_^). In one entry, he was talking about how he's long had an interest in bondage and a fascination with total power exchange, but questioning if he'd really have the desire to ever do the "master" thing in reality. And then one day he had a realization:

"This spring I was at an introduction to shibari class, and at one point we had tied rope on the front of our partner, and the next step was to tie the rope up their back. In a bit of humor the instructor said, "so if you're a dom top, at this point you tell your submissive to turn around, and if you're a service top, you go around to the other side". And I had a bit of a lightbulb go off, and I thought, "oh, I'm a service top!"

Because I've always been a builder, a doer. I build projects, I write software, I implement. I don't get a thrill myself out of someone being compliant... if I'm going to tie someone up, if they've given me permission to tie them up, I don't care what they do. They can struggle or be resistant or try to escape or beat me off me off or just stand there, it doesn't matter: I am going to tie them up and make them helpless."

A month ago I was reading a story over in consciousobject's journal, and at one point the protagonist asked the inventor, "do you think we could use [your invention] to try out some other fantasies of mine?". I commented that when I read that, I thought, "you know, that's what I want. I want to be an implementor of fantasies"."

I thought that was really cool, commenting how "people like that seem so hard to find, at least on BDSM personals. "Service top," I like that, hehe. I just want to find someone who enjoys tying girls up, who loves that I love them tying me up, without the whole 'serving' thing. ;-P" Cat had been thinking doing a little traveling, and I guess at that moment he decided he should make this one of his stops, lol.

And so this became the final stop on his planned trip (so that there wouldn't be a rush to get off to the next destination). The idea being to meet up and chat a bit, and then if feeling sufficiently comfortable with the other, finding a place to have some bondage fun. The only slight difficulty being that my roommates aren't kinky, and Cat was staying in a hostel, so I'd probably have to find a hotel room or something.

Before arriving in town, he sent an email to give a heads-up. At the bottom of the message, he included this silly extra bit, referencing my "DomBot" entry:

"*beep*

Thank you for shopping Bondorobo! We thought you might like to know that your order of one (1) Bondage-Bot has shipped and is due to arrive at the Barnes and Noble in [city] at 12 noon. Your Bondage-Bot comes equipped with a full range of bondage gear for your enjoyment. However, if you are dissatisfied with your Bondage-Bot for any reason, please return it for a full refund. Here at Bondorobo, we aim to please!"

Just had to post that...it was too silly. ;-)

We initially met up at the cafe of B and N, but there ended up being so many people in the area that day, being so library-quiet, it felt to me like everything we said would be overheard even if we tried to whisper. So I suggested relocating to the food court at the mall, where as expected we were able to talk quite loudly without much worry, drowned out by the sounds around us.

After chatting for awhile and being able to determine that the other isn't a weirdo crazy person or anything (just two weirdo bondage fans?), we retired off to find a location to have some bondage fun. I had never done this hotel-just-for-some-place-private thing before, so it was kind of weird for me. Even moreso, the most affordable place in the area ended up being not a hotel but a motel...I'm actually not sure if I've ever stayed in a motel before, lol. But once we had a room and were settled, I got over the initial awkwardness fairly quickly. And it ended up being a decent enough place (though I hear the shower had some problems).

Then he brought out his bag filled with various possible toys to play with (including lots of rope). I don't have much in the way of bondage toys myself, but did bring along a bag with my catsuit and zentai suits, for him to choose from if he desired ("do you want the bot? the ragdoll?" heh).

I wasn't really entirely sure what to expect from the day. The snippets of experiences I've read on his blog don't really talk much about any sort of sensation play or how clothed the people were that he's been able to practice tying up so far. Knowing he's read enough of my blog to have gotten a fairly clear idea of what sorts of what I do or don't go for, I'd kind of decided to myself (not openly stated, just in my thoughts) that I'd leave it up to him how comfortable he was as far as my level of undress and types of sensation play, if any. For all I knew, we might end up just sitting around chatting while I'm tied up in various ways.

All I can say is, was I in for a surprise!

( Continue Reading... )

Remember those mouthless make-up vids I mentioned previously? Well, the same guy has now gone and done a completely faceless one (which may have kinda/sorta came out of a request I made. ;-) Though I requested simply a blank mouth...but this is even better):

Saturday I went to an "exploratorium" held by a local BDSM group. It was basically an event where a handful of experts kinksters set up stations to demo their expertise, allowing people to check out each station and explore some things (hence the name).

The event was a fairly small and low-key thing, resulting in the stations being thankfully uncrowded. There were six stations set up: 1) electro-play, 2) misc. toys for sensation-play, 3) canes, 4) whips, 5) floggers, and 6) shibari (Japanese rope bondage). My favorite, of course, was that last one. ^_^

So I made my way over to the shibari table first. He had a couple books with some very cool photos of various fun shibari scenes and such which I paged through, and he also had all sorts of rope for demonstration purposes (and an assistant, wearing a shirt with the words "Rope Slut" hehe). I wasn't really sure what to ask, to I mostly just listened to others have their questions answered.

Not wanting to linger in one area too long, I decided to wander over to the electro-play, the only other area there that remotely interested me. I'm not huge into pain, so canes and whips and things I tend to stay away from...but some lighter electro things seem like they could be kinda fun. He demonstrated various things, such as a violet wand, and the different bulbs that can be placed in for different effects. I tended to wait for others to touch it first, and judge from reactions which ones would be too much for me.

One of the other interesting toys he had was a laptop hooked up to a blindfold that looks like a pair of sunglasses. Inside are LED-looking lights. And also hooked up to the laptop is a box for electricity, which special sticky pads can be hooked into...and then these pads are stuck onto your skin. What happens then is, a music file can be played on the laptop, and the sound gets interpreted as light patterns in the glasses, as well as shocks via the pads on your skin. So as you're shocked, your muscles start twitching and things...to the beat of the music, as you get an interesting lightshow going on through your eyelids (you have to keep your eyes closed while it's on).

After watching someone else try it out first, I decided to be adventurous and see how it was. He asked if I'd ever heard of this or that group, some fairly obscure-sounding things, to which I mentioned I listen mostly to rock. He says he has some Who, AC/DC... I thought The Who sounded like an interesting idea. And yeah, "Won't Get Fooled Again" gave an interesting lightshow.

And let me tell you, you'll never be more aware of the soft/loud dynamics in a song than when those dynamics are being interpreted into softer or harder shocks of electricity, lol. For demonstration purposes, he placed pads only on people's arms...but suggested breasts and things might be interesting places to put them. I can only imagine...being tied up, being bombarded with sound and light and sensation...the latter two playing off of the former.

Also, while he had the music playing through speakers so everyone could hear, the demo-subject was also listening through headphones. The effect is almost like sensory deprivation, being unable to hear or see anything going on arround you...except that at the same time you're being bombarded with sensory information. Would definately be something fun to combine with bondage.

And back to bondage...after trying out the electro machine thing, I decided to head back over to the shibari station, and continue listening/watching. Apparently while I'd been in Who-land, one of the girls there had been tied fairly snuggly, with numerous ropes wrapped around her horizontally. Her arms were stuck snuggly at her sides, but she was still able to walk freely. The idea, I guess, with all the rope, was to give her a wonderfully cozy/snug feeling of just the tightness of the ropes, almost like a body hug...I was so jealous, hehe. And in return, she had business cards listing the guy's website (www.ropecast.net, for anyone interested) placed in her cleavage for people to take...transformed into a mobile business card dispenser of sorts. ;-)

Wandering back to the shibari table, I watched him demonstrate a nice rope harness on another girl, with her arms tied behind her back while acting as an interesting sort of push-up bra in the front. He took a few pics with his digital camera to email her later (after asking, of course, and making sure not to get anyone else in the picture), and then let her stay in the harness and wander about a little to take it in fully.

I'd been too shy to ask to try anything out earlier, but after seeing that built up the courage. He asks what I'd like to try, and I'm like "well, I'm not sure..." -- ever decisive, lol. He decides on something similar to that last harness, but different.

However, just as he's begun, one of the organizers mentions to him that they want to wrap everything up in the next 10 minutes. Perfect timing on my part, eh? ;-P Well, he gave it a good try, attempting a slightly rushed thing, but unfortunately it didn't come out as great as I think he would've liked...for one, it wasn't really binding at all (after he snapped a couple of pics, I broke out of it fairly quickly), and as he said himself really mostly functioned just to look kinda pretty, hehe. Alas.

But yeah...was overall a fun experience. :-)

A few weeks after playing with my friend SK, I met up with another friend (who I'll call MB), who I'd been chatting with for awhile via Yahoo after similarly meeting him on CollarMe.com. Unlike SK, MB hadn'nt had a lot of real-world experience with bondage -- he'd read up on various things, and practiced tying rope on himself to get the hang of it, but had yet to actually have the opportunity to play with anyone. After chatting quite a bit, I decided to volunteer to help him gain some experience by being a test-dummy/mannequin for him to try out some various things on. ^_^

One of the things he'd been most looking forward to trying on someone for the longest time was a rope harness/bikini, so we decided to try that out first. For me, this was only my second time having a harness tied on me (the first being just a few weeks earlier with SK), but this time I encountered a surprise. When SK had tied his harness on me, I'm not sure I ever had much of an opportunity to put my arms down while it was on (my hands being tied over my head most of the time, if I'm remembering correctly)...this time, however, MB had me put my arms down once the upper harness was all securely fastened...and oh my! When I put my arms down, the rope above and below my breasts became taught...putting slight but constant pressure on my breasts, making them not only quite firm, but fairly sensative. o_o

He also made it into a full bikini, having rope go between my legs (though with my bottom still on). My wrists were then tied behind my back, attached to the harness so that I couldn't really do much with them at all. With this tickling between my legs, my breasts feeling extra sensative, and my hands unavailable to do much about it, I was feeling *so* turned on...and having trouble standing, lol.

He, too, had clothespins, but one of them kept falling off...and in doing so, wearing out the one nipple faster than the other. We also kinda wore the nipples out too far, to that point where they start stinging a bit...which tends to not be as fun for me. But what can ya do?

The second thing we tried came out of just sitting around idley chatting. I sat in his computer chair while he sat on his bed, and while twisting side to side in the chair I started just sort of thinking out loud about what would be an amusing scenario to attempt the way the chair is built. Here's what we did:

We start with me sitting in the chair normally, feet flat on the floor. First, I pull my legs up under the seat of the chair, using my hands to hold my ankles in place while he fastens the ankles with rope to the underside of each armrest (where the armrests attach to the seat). I made a point to lift them up high enough that I would not be able to reach the wheel-base with my feet (so that I could be spun in any direction, without having the ability to use my toes to stop myself ;-)).

If I'm recally correctly, I also had a top harness on again, continuing to make my breasts nice and sensative (though the nipples themselves didn't have much left in them for another workout). My hands were then tied behind my back, behind the backrest. (It took some adjusting before he figured out a way to get things so I was unable to lean forward and wiggle my arms out, but he worked it out eventually. ;-)) Then, we added a makeshift blindfold (using my shirt or something, I think, lol).

The beautiful thing about this setup is that not only was I completely immobile -- rendered essentially armless and legless, with chest full exposed -- but if the top so desired, I could easily be moved by him wherever he wanted. A repositional Object existing for his amusement. ^_^

And the blindfold accentuates the feeling of objectness, taking away my ability to see what's going to happen next, or even tell where in the room I am, lol. We also attempted a makeshift gag (I love the idea of gags in bondage, adding to the feeling of being an object by stripping me of the ability to communicate), but it didn't work so well, alas.

But overall, the chair was a wonderfully fun time. He thankfully went easy on the nipples as it was apparent they were worn out, heh...the best was probably when he would lightly massage a whole breast, with his palm...it felt sooo niiice... *sigh* Lol.

We were joking later about an amusing fantasy scenerio, where bound up like that plus a hood tied to my head, I might be wheeled over into the TV room...where I would be left sitting near the couch while the top watched TV...only turning his attention to me during commercials, where he'd use me to keep himself entertained until the break was over. ;-)

Taking it to the next level even, imagine adding earplugs under the hood...total sensory deprivation. I'd have no hint at all when the next commercial break was coming...until suddenly feeling myself being touched. ;-)

I've been meaning to write about my more recent real-life experiences, but keep getting side-tracked and distracted, heh. Anyways, here's my first one (finally).

Towards the end of college, I'd been thinking about beginning to explore the local BDSM community, but had been to busy (and shy ^_^) to really do so while still in school. Recently I moved to a new city, now that I'm out of college...and somehow found the courage to take this opportunity to finally explore the local community *here.*

But first, I began by searching online. I decided to try out the whole BDSM personals thing, and have actually had some some great luck using CollarMe.com (probably my favorite of all the BDSM personals sites I've looked at). Case in point -- one of the earliest people from this area to contact me is a great, friendly guy who is pretty active in the local community, who I'll refer to as SK (since this journal is really more about me than about the tops I play with, I figure I'll keep people anonymous for the time being...unless they expressedly want the credit ^_^). It became clear fairly quickly in our text exchanges that he was very intelligent and thoughtful (sadly a rarity on BDSM personals, which might become the topic of a future entry ;-P), so we decided to meet up for a bite to eat, and some play. ^_^

After chatting over food at a restaurant, we headed over to his place. He introduced me to his cute slavegirl, but I was feeling kinda shy and didn't say much, lol. After showing me around the house a little, he lead me downstairs. It was the first time I'd ever been in anything that actually visually resembled a BDSM dungeon before. Trying to take it all in, it didn't entirely feel "real" to me...that I was actually there...with the mix of wonder, excitement, and nervousness.

We'd chatted enough before even meeting up that he had a pretty good understanding of what sort of things do and don't interest me. He understands that I'm not naturally submissive in "regular" life, but explained that while in-scene he does expect a degree of obedience from me, as far as following commands and such. The commands thing took (and takes, lol) some getting used to for me, but I was completely fine with trying my best for him in this situation.

The commands he showed me primarily involved taking certain poses...this command means sit in this position, this command means put your arms like this, etc. Thinking along the lines of android-ish type roleplay, you could almost make the comparison to being programmed, taking one of a handful of standard poses when a word is given. Though I don't think that particular idea came to me until afterwards, heh.

Would be something potentially fun to try with hypnosis, though...automatically taking a pose without a thought, and being "stuck" that way even if I want to *try* and escape from it. ^_^

I sat in a kneeling position, and while we chatted some more, he slowly took off clothes and set them aside (though for my comfort we agreed my bottom stayed on). He then had me stand up, with my arms up, and began tying a rope harness. I started getting arroused just from the feeling of it...but at the same time, noticed a hint of something feeling not quite right. Not related at all to the situation itself, but rather with my body...my stomach feeling kind of weird...kind of tight. But for the time being, I ignored it...and it seemed to go away.

Once the harness was all tied, he instructed me to walk forward...and then yanked on the harness after I took a few steps, stopping me in my tracks. Which was quite amusing, hehe. He then tied my wrists, and put a blindfold over my eyes. He led me over to a spot in the room, and began tying my wrists to a hook in the ceiling, also tying my ankles or knees or something (I no longer remember -- really wish I'd written this sooner, when it was most fresh in my mind) to hooks towards the ground, keeping me from being able to move much in any direction. And then placed clothespins on my nipples, and started playing with them... ^_^

Unfortunately, about this time, that weird feeling I first noticed came back...I started feeling kind of dizzy, and my stomach getting all tight again. I asked for some water, my mouth feeling kind of dry, and took some slow deep breaths, in hopes that'd calm it down...but it soon became apparent the scene was going to have to end (as much fun as I'd been having up to this point), as the realization hit me that the way my stomach was feeling, I might be throwing up soon.

But by the time I realized what that feeling meant, it was too late...I turned my head and out it came. I was mortified. Here is this guy kind enough to treat me to some fun, and I go and throw up on his floor. I felt *so* embarrassed, and was apologizing profusely while he went about quickly freeing me, and assuring me that it was alright.

I was already feeling a lot better physically almost before I was completely free. Once untied, I quickly cleaned it up. There wasn't at all as much as I'd thought there'd been, actually...it was just a tiny spot.

He guided me over to the matress just outside the dungeon doorway, and had me lay down. He took much care in making sure I was relaxed, and fanned me over. It felt quite nice...though I remained slightly preoccupied with wondering just what had happened. I'm *still* not sure, to be honest. I wonder if I just ate too much at the restaurant just before? Didn't wait long enough after eating? I don't know.

Anyways, after laying and chatting some, we decided to make another go of it. This time, he decided to have me lay down, tying me to a bench while I layed on my back. Once again there was a blindfold...and clothespins, hehe. My nipples are still fairly inexperienced when it comes to this level of play, so rather than focus too much attention on them and burn them out right away, he eventually took the clothespins off...and took out some rather intimdating-looking claws (pulling up my blindfold for just a moment to make sure I had a chance to see them)!

I'm not much for fear-based edge-play or mindfuck, so when he told me to try and keep still while he lightly dragged these across me because they're quite sharp, I was just a bit tense for awhile and looking forward to this being overwith, lol. But as it went on, I realized fairly quickly that he was very experienced with these and that I could trust him enough to not worry about him cutting me. Because, you see, the point of the claws isn't necessarily to draw blood (though they could be used in that manner)...rather, when lightly dragged across the skin, it creates a ticklish sensation. And I'm not typically very ticklish, so something like this is about the only way I *can* be easily tickled, lol.

But yet so tough, knowing how easy it would be still to get cut. As I trusted him more, I gradually relaxed and allowed myself to squirm more...but still had to hold back to some degree, as I didn't want to make things too difficult for him. So wanting to squirm uncontrollably, yet having to still maintain some degree of control...so hard. ;-P

Especially since, the longer he did it, the more sensative my skin seemed to get...each pass feeling more intense than the last. And being blindfolded, I was that much more focused on the sensations...the touches on my skin being the only thing I could "see," and my never knowing where the next touch was going to be. It was wonderful...and exhausting, seeming to go on forever. I honestly have no clue how much time passed with me like that...could have been 10 minutes, could have been an hour, I have no idea.

(I'm also aware, in this state, that I'm making all sorts of silly noises, lol...which I get kind of self-conscious about, as I have no idea what they sound like to the other person, and if the other person finds them annoying or enjoys them or what. But I can't seem to help it...I just lose control and start making noises, lol. For that reason, I sometimes finding myself wishing I had a gag, just to maybe keep me from thinking as much about the noises I'm making...as well as, of course, enhancing the control aspect. ^_^)

His aftercare is exquisite. Having that matress outside the doorway is quite handy, allowing for us to lay back and relax, chatting and recuperating...and he very clearly puts thought into making sure his bottom is comfortable and feeling cared for after a scene. I think it's lost on a lot of people (both tops and bottoms) just how important the after-scene stuff can be.

A wonderful experience overall...can't wait to maybe do something with him again. :-)

When I added the "if all goes well" part at the end of the previous entry, it was because I was actually feeling pretty skeptical about the possibility of the lamp thing working. These floorlamps I have are fairly cheap and flimsy, and I'd been brainstorming ideas for the previous couple weeks on how to make it work.

( Read On To See How It Went - And Please Don't Laugh At Our Inexperience ;-P )